When it comes to the people you care about, do you ever worry if they have the characteristics of a narcissist or a sociopath?
One of the most overused words in recent years is probably “narcissism,” which has been bandied around with wild abandon. The term “narcissist” refers to someone who is seen as egocentric, self-obsessed, or self-obsessed.
In order to induce their victim to yield to their manipulation, the narcissist is a master at hitting their emotional sweet spot—that vulnerable region where worthiness is overpowered by unworthiness
The narcissist manipulates the victim like a puppeteer, doling out praise and tenderness, which are rapidly swept away at the first misstep by the abused person.
The victim wonders to themselves and others, “Am I crazy?” because they believe the criticism they hear is justified.
Here are ten characteristics of narcissists and sociopaths that are universally recognised.
To fight these tendencies, a narcissistic personality disorder sufferer will do whatever to keep them hidden.
I Like Them Because
The narcissistic charmer is a keen watcher of what to do to get you to concede that they “had you at hello” with their total focus, flirtatiousness, and eyes that scream, “I can’t get enough of you.”
If you’re being charmed, you’ll be showered with praise, praises, presents, and any other gesture that speaks to your primary and secondary love languages.
They fall back into their old habits as soon as they know you’ve been seduced. This is the point at which the scales tip, and you must suddenly strive even harder for the next compliment, date night, or gushing text, even though you have no idea why.
You begin to feel uneasy and realise that if you want to maintain this person in your life, you will need to be more caring and attentive. You’re willing to tolerate the sarcastic remarks and caustic barbs because you don’t want to upset the lucky catch that just appeared.
They brag about their accomplishments in business and in life in general. They talk about being the CEO of a Fortune 500 company and making multi-million dollar deals in their business.
So because of your trust and their self-assurance, you don’t inquire about their background..”
They have a lot of insecurities. To be honest, their arrogance is nothing more than smoke and mirrors. A quick background check will reveal a history of failing businesses, lawsuits, and even a name change.
“Educated” Is An Understatement
Their time at prestigious universities — Summa Cum Laude — is spoken casually over dinner with the most modest of attitudes.
Astonished at how well-versed they are in any issue you bring up? You regard them as articulate and well-educated. As far as investing in the stock market and securing your 401(k) are concerned, they have all the answers.
They’re a non-degree student, not a grad student. It’s possible that the narcissist has taken a few classes at a community college or two.
They Pretend To Be Intelligent
They’re not that wise, in fact. They don’t know much about anything. However, once they’ve exhausted their surface knowledge base on any subject, they know how to redirect.
And they know how to keep you distracted and charmed when you need to be redirected.
They’re Amiable And Approachable
The sociable narcissist boasts that they have pals all over the world. Long-distance friends and even past lovers who still believe the other is amazing will be mentioned.
They have a sprinkling of acquaintances at best. Narcissists have a plethora of excuses for why they can’t meet longstanding friends, so you won’t know this unless you try to meet these people.
She is going through a difficult time; he is away; they are too busy. In their defence, they say they’ve been friends with their ex despite the fact that “he was truly such a lovely person.”
Actually, they’re dishonest, manipulative, and demeaning to the point of being deceitful.
Their body language, tone, and persona have all been fine-tuned to portray a person of integrity. Ex-girlfriend paid to get them out of her life after they broke up with her. Despite the narcissist’s portrayal, the ex has a restraining order against them, despite what they claim.
They’ll Rip Your Joy To Shreds
You are overjoyed to finally have a partner who understands you and whom you can open up to at any time. Your rants will be taken seriously because you believe they are charismatic, confident, and intellectual.
However, you begin to doubt your own abilities.
There is a gradual buildup of shame and disempowerment as the denigration seeps into your system. The narcissist’s influence might be felt even when you’re in a better mood or have a more positive outlook.
Something at work could go well, and wham! “I didn’t know it was too much to ask you to pick up the dry cleaning on your way home from your coveted work,” says a frosty voice. You didn’t notice that. Again.”
They Say They’re On The Same Page As You
Regardless of your religious or spiritual beliefs, or even if you place a higher value on your family or career than anything else, they’ll agree with you wholeheartedly. In the event that you have a strong religious conviction, they will join your congregation as soon as the opportunity arises.
They’ll tell you (probably a lie) how their religious experiences as a youngster developed their integrity and soul as an adult, and it’s not a lie.
They don’t have any values at all. What they’re doing is to get you to match your own personal values. In their minds, there is only one god: themselves.
They’ll Act As If They’re Open To Everyone
The narcissist advises you to invite everyone over for dinner, whether it’s at your house or at a party, claiming that the more the merrier. Until they see you’re having a good time without them being the primary source of your happiness, it’s all fun and games.
They’ve mastered the art of alienation, in fact. If you’re at a party and leave them for more than five minutes, there will be a repercussion.
The narcissist who wants to separate you from those who make you feel good about yourself may invent an excuse, a hiccup, a feigned illness, or a conflict the next time you want to get together with family and friends.
The narcissist’s friends and family try to help, but you ignore them because you’ve been emotionally entangled in the narcissist’s web of deceit.
They Profess To Be An Honest And Trustworthy Person
These people will do whatever to demonstrate and show their benevolence, loyalty, and trustworthiness to all of their numerous acquaintances.
In order to draw tears to your eyes, the person with narcissistic personality disorder will tell anecdotes about how they have supported their friends. And then you ask, “How could I have been so fortunate?” “
They deceive you. They lack a moral compass. They’ll do whatever it takes to satisfy their own desires. Because you’ll never meet these alleged buddies, they manufacture stories about the goodness they’ve shown others.
In actuality, the narcissist will keep you at arm’s length from their imaginary friend network. Despite their claims of being firmly established in their former circles of acquaintances and neighbours, they are frequently on the move.
In the wake of their previous con, they’ve decided to start anew in a new location.
Especially When It Comes To Sex, They’re Energetic And Daring
They make you feel special by taking you on romantic trips they know you’ll enjoy and showering you with affectionate attention. On the aircraft trip to your holiday, they tease you with their sexual fantasies, dropping clues at their prowess as a lover. You’re itching to become a member of the Mile High Club right away.
They can’t even meet your basic necessities. All that’s left are the hushed tones of their voices, which vanish into thin air. It is impossible for the narcissist to feel connected, and so they blame you for that strange sensation of alienation.
You’re so aware of your own sexual inadequacy that you spend more time worrying about your appearance and increase your fitness regimen.
You believe that your lover didn’t want to be with you because you were too inflexible.
Some of the things that they muttered in your ear may turn up on pornographic websites or on their computer if you search their phone or computer. These unlawful communications will be dismissed as unimportant when confronted by a highly addicted-to-stimulation narcissist.
Because, after all, how can they be sexually fulfilled if you’re not? In the end, the narcissist constructs a dynamic in which the burden of duty is always on you.
Identifying and avoiding emotional fault lines is up to you (with the support of a psychotherapist, if necessary). As a general rule, if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is, so don’t fall for it.